A Better Canvas

So here I sit, at the edge of another show's end. My feet dangle and kick lazily at the end of the stage, with no one left in the room to watch. The spotlight flickers above me, and debris of popcorn and half-drunk drink cups lightly litter the aisles. I love this part of the show!

I love the feeling of doing a captive show, and at the end, celebrating with myself for completing another mission. The feeling right after a show ends is kind of like that Friday feeling for you office mongers, or that first day of summer break. I chills at the edge of my shows, and pour myself a glass of wine to unwind after the dust settles.

I think I made a tremendous step forward in the goal of self-expression through the art of magic at this last event. I just need my own venue. It's so hard to say what you want to say, and paint what you want to paint if your on a moving train or in a noisy bar. The venues available to most working magicians today are less than suitable canvases for expressing ones-self, and spreading the energy you wish to spread. I'm grateful for every night I'm able to call a venue my own and turn it into my canvas for an hour. It's like, a studio with nice lighting and quiet space and an entire blank wall to work on if you're a graffiti artist, as opposed to infiltrating a subway tunnel at night and throwing down a bomb really quick before you have to dip. That's how strolling and even busking is: get in, throw down your bomb, and be out. It's kind of limited in what you can do.

It takes less energy to do those short, 5-15 min burst shows, but it's always nice coming back to a full show for a captive audience for a solid hour, who pay to come and see you. I'm just meditating at the edge of the stage these things. I'm excited to bring my show to another venue soon. I hope you can see it. It's pretty different from what you're used to seeing magicians do.

-antidote

Chopping Bamboo

So, as the mighty founder of the rogue mage dojo the House of Flying Cards, commanding armies of magicians at my disposal like Gengis Kahn to conquer crowds wherever we go, I secretly freelance at a 9-5 desk job every now and then. It's great! It's so laid back. I pick up the phone and ask people if they would like free movie tickets, as opposed to picking up the phone and convincing people to book our shows. I sit peacefully in an air-conditioned cubicle surrounded by movie posters, as opposed to standing under the hot sun in front of groups of strangers waiting to be impressed. It's low-intensity, and stable. I have tasted this world. It's humbling, and there's peace in low-brainpower tasks such as shipping boxes of movie posters and stuffing envelopes. I once read that a Buddhist monk from the Ching Dynasty fled the bustle of the imperial city to retire in the mountains, and chop bamboo. He achieved enlightenment this way. It's a change of pace, the 9-5, but the more I do it, the more energy I store up energy for my next run on the performance grind. I love the way things balance out: low-intensity office hours and high-intensity gig runs. I can appreciate the balance both bring to my being!

-antidote

Ego

A good friend and mentor of mine Alex Geiser has had a profound impact on how I approach this art. He also does a gangster coin matrix that is too hardcore to compete with or comprehend how hardcore it hits you in the brain. Anyway, out of all art forms, magic has the potential to inflate your ego more-so than music, painting, and the like, because you get instant props! Like the response is right away. People will tend to worship you if you did what your supposed to do correctly. This is bad. Ego is bad. Let it go like sand.

-antidote

"The root of this behavior lies in the ego. A lot of people think they understand ego because they are aware of the definition of the word. The one’s who are cocky may be that way because of ignorance. We are magicians, we are supposed to be people’s people. If wer’e not, how can people like your magic if they don’t like you? Or better yet… how can you make people dream if their too busy thinking you are a douche? To fully understand, you also have to be aware of how you are percieved. And that’s why you should be the respectful gentleman. The main lesson of this topic is, ‘ Let go of the ego’. Your knowledge will increase because you should understand that everyone has something to bring to the table."

- Alex Geiser on the Ego

for more info on the gangster hardcore magic of Alex Geiser go to http://www.myfavoritemagician.com

Companion Sword

One way magic has served me is by making time warp and pass forward, kind of like a good drinking session, but without the hangover. A performance moves my mind into the crowd, and far away from things that sting and upset me. I come out of one 15-minute set feeling different, and far away from where I was before the set had just started. An entire gig does me this favor many fold, and at the day's end, I'm looking around with different, and better, eyes. I had fought with the girl I love this morning, and got irrationally mad. There was no good reason to my madness! But in the heat of that moment, it made sense, and I rode that madness into a turbulent phone conversation and text exchange. She went to sleep in tears (she lives on the other side of the world, so the timezone is different), and I rode into my gig in a funk. I got out of it after the gig. The gig saved me! A few hours of doing magic moved my mind away from what happened, and when I came back to it some hours later, I realized how fooled I was to believe in my madness and act on it. I called her when I got home that night, and gave fully into my apologies and intentions to take better care of her and not get irrationally mad. I got off the phone feeling ten-times more appreciative of what we have. Thank you, magic. You serve me like a samurai once again, and cut down the bad in me that I wish to leave behind.

-antidote

Fooled

The hidden lessons of my practice are becoming apparent: they flashed! It's not so much about taking what I need from the magic advice I'm given: it's giving a compassionate ear, and the opportunity for my advice givers to speak their peace. My dad is my mentor, and loves being that. I don't care if I don't agree with 50% of the advices in magic he gives me. I'm learning to love being able to give him the opportunity to mentor me, and humble myself to take what he suggests to heart. An open ear is a gift: I don't care what I learn after that. It's not about learning to make myself the best. The trick is to stay as humble as possible no matter how good I perceive myself, or my crowd perceives me to be. The better you become, the harder it is to do that! It's not about creating an awesome show to get more gigs. It's being selfless with the money I make from them, and serving the highest possible quality Jadu I can serve to my audiences. It's not about beating myself up for doing a bad show: it's forgiving, and learning to not take things so seriously. I think I have it figured out. I think I'm learning magic, but there is so much I don't know that's being secretly taught. Mastery of the sword precedes peace. Poems precede calm silence. Loving those around you precede God. I think I get it. I'm so fooled!

-antidote

Perfect

Time stands still for the performer who stops short of perfection. I love what I do, but that is not who I am. And the idleness that comes from decelerating out of a performance, a set, or an entire gig makes me restless. I can't sleep. I want to stay up all night, studying ways to make my street show better, and the effects stronger, and the delivery more compelling, and the tip lines more selling. But for what? I must keep reminding myself why I practice: for the service of others. There is much to practice in the ways of light and good through this practice, and they're cleverly hidden in the crevices of what I'm studying. I've been so technical lately: so exact. So exactly what is my goal? To become the best? To top myself night in and night out? I want to loose self, and loose my eyes in my heart. I want to radiate something positive into the crowds I conjure before. If I do it well, than my messages can be clearer. Immaculate reception. I don't know why I'm trying to do what I do so well. Maybe, it's just love. You want to do a God job: perfect. I have sharpened every angle of every set and effect I do, and it's never-ending. There will never be mastery. I don't want to loose sight of the whys. That would be un-wise. It's so late, and I'm still thinking about how I can make my sets better. Why? The desire to better the self is what happens when you want to live up to something you love. Or someone you love. It's not pride, or ego building. The sharpest sword cuts down monstrosities along the way. The polished blade reflects the conviction most clearly. I don't know what I'm saying, or thinking. My intentions are good. It's too late. The mystery is a mess that keeps unfolding.

-antidote

Streaks of Light

Today, I performed my show at a hospital clinic for the elderly. What a joyful audience! The overwhelming excitement and buzz in the room that built throughout the show was amazing. I can't stop marveling at what magic, and poetry, or any art form in general, can do for the human spirit. It is uplifting to see people uplifted. Simply put, I killed it: I did an excessively good job at this particular show, which is somewhat rare. It felt like I'm a basketball player and scored 50 points in the game to win it, and put smiles on the faces of everyone in the stands. It wasn't a bright-lit arena: it was a clinic! A waiting space of diagnosis and medications. I actually did the show in the waiting room, and turned it into my own magical theater. I don't care where it goes down. I'll perform on the moon if I'm asked to, for the astronauts stuck in their space shuttle laboratories. Magic is like light: it can go anywhere. So I took it as smoothly as I could into the eyes of these old people, and my poems into their ears. I'm exceptionally excited, as this was the first show where I actually bounced between doing straight magic, magic-poetry, and my poems by themselves. The reaction I received from this new approach was startlingly deep. The attention of the room funneled to a single point so clear after each poem, that I could have done the worst magic trick in the world and they still would have reacted. I'm glad I have this "sidekick" artform to help my magic out. It feels like I have Wade and Bron on my team, or Shaq and Kobe. Lol I've been watching them playoffs. It feels good to do a good job, and to see people happy from what I do. And even better knowing the income I'm getting from whatever this is making is going to take me back to the Philippines, where I can see the girl I love again. Life is astonishing. I am overwhelmed with God fortune.

-antidote